Thursday, August 21, 2008

Reading Star Wars

We went to prepare dinner last night only to discover that the meat was frozen so we were going to have to run out and grab some dinner. After a brief discussion of our refrigerator's need to randomly freeze the meat drawer, we loaded the kids in the car and left. Joshua is reading the children's chapter book adaptation of Star Wars: The Clone Wars animated movie. Periodically he spells a word out loud that he is struggling with and I tell him what it is. So we are riding in the car and suddenly he says, "Wow, I guess Jabba the Hut can't speak English!" I laughed, thinking that the character, Jabba the Hut, in his book must have said a word that he couldn't sound out.
"Here, Honey, hand Mama your book and I will help you with what Jabba is saying."
He giggled and handed me the book, both of us careful to not lose the page.
So I began scanning the page for Jabba's side of the conversation. Found it easily enough and began reading.
"AHHH...WOWOGA SLEEMO MAKA PEEDUNKEEMUFKIN," Jabba replied. Uh, what?? Oh geez, he's speaking HUT, his native language.
"Joshua, this is GIBBERISH!" I exclaimed. "He's speaking in Hut, you are't supposed to be able to read it, honey!" and I handed his book back to him across the back of the seat. Daddy laughed at me. "He *did* tell you that Jabba couldn't speak English," Daddy said to me with a chuckle. Yes. Yes, he did.

So then from the backseat comes Joshua's little voice. " Wowga sleee...hmmm...sleem. Ahhh wowga sleemo! Ahh wowga sleemo maka!!" My son was excitedly reading Hut. I looked at my husband and rolled my eyes. He laughed. Then Joshua shut his book and began talking to his what sounded suspiciously like fluent HUT. She answered him...also in what sounded like fluent Hut. My husband burst out laughing. He found the children talking to each other in (what I hope was faux) Hut hysterical. Evil man.

So I turned my attention to one of the local businesses we were passing and began a conversation with my husband in ordinary redneck, English about the recent demise of some small businesses. I realized that the sounds in the back seat had changed, that there was more clicking noises, and attempted to tuned it out thinking that Joshua was simply, well, making noises..when a thought occurred to me.

"I just got a mental video," I laughed to my husband. "Oh, what's that?" he asked.
"Yet another reason why our children could never go to public school. I can hear the phone call now...Mrs. S...please come and get Joshua, he is being suspended, AGAIN. Why? Oh because he has decided to speak gibberish today..oh, my mistake, to speak HUT today and refuses to converse in English. Which I could have overlooked, except that he taught it to the ENTIRE CLASS, and now NONE Of them will speak to me in anything but HUT. So come and get him!!" We both laughed.

From the back seat came more clicks and noises, then Joshua giggled. "Mama," he said with obvious glee, "I'm not even TALKING Hut anymore...I am talking in Jenosian. They are bugish like creatures that live on a desert planet. They have wings!" Then he turned to his sister and spoke in gibberish and clicks. She smiled at him and responded in gibberish and clicks. Then my husband, the traitor, looked back at them both and SPOKE IN PERFECT GIBBERISH AND CLICKS!! To which, of course they responded.

I covered my face with my hands, while my husband laughed. I am severely outnumbered.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sometimes We Have to Think Before We Speak

So Joshua comes flying through the living room, chokes dramatically and clutches the air, makes rattling noises and falls to the ground at the entrance to the hall.

Daddy: "Joshua, what in the heck are you doing?!"
Joshua: "Being dead...argllll uh "
Daddy: "Well just make your self UNdead this minute and get in there and pick up your bedroom!"

So Joshua rises from the floor, slooowly raises his arms until they are outstretched in front of him, widens his eyes and tilts his head to one side. He shambles down the hall groaning, "Brains! Errrrr Aaarrrrg brains! Errrghhh, toys and brains!" and enters his bedroom, never once slipping out of character.

I looked at Daddy and opened my mouth to speak. He held up one hand and shaking his head, sighed and said, "I know, I know, he did *exactly* what I told him to do!"


Friday, August 15, 2008

Bookstore Trip

Tonight after dinner we went to visit one of our favorite places, the bookstore. Joshua grabbed a couple of Spiderman comics to read while we drank some overpriced coffee and perused magazines. He got very excited to discover that one of the comics had members of the Greek Pantheon in the story including Cerberus. Cerberus, the three headed dog from the Greek Underworld was also featured in the Time Warp Trio that Joshua is currently reading. He thinks that having a Cerberus puppy would ROCK. Naturally. =P

So later, as we gathered up what books we intended to purchase and returned the others to the shelves, Joshua begged and begged Daddy for those comics. Daddy said that Joshua was already getting Magic Tree House's Hour of the Olympics and one book was quite enough. Out came the lip. Joshua's whole little boy body sagged in pout. His little blonde head drooped, his arms hung listlessly by his sides. He plodded ahead of us in defeat.
"But, Daddy, they took the Underworld dogs to a DOG SHOW!" he whined, while trying not to, under his breath..." a dog show...I love Cerberus," and he sighed heavily. I looked at his Daddy and laughed as Daddy snuck one of the comics into our to be purchased book pile. I leaned over and whispered to my husband, "YOUR son is whining about CERBERUS, three headed protector of the Greek Underworld." I got a glare as he determinedly went to pay for our books, including the comic with Cerberus and Orthus at the dog show.

Then we began the half hour drive home. Joshua looked through the bag and discovered his surprise with unrestrained joy. So we had a delighted Joshua for the ride home.

Joshua: "Look Sissy, stars! Let's wish on a star!"
Sissy: "I wish Joshua would be quiet on the way home."
Joshua: "No, no if you say it out loud it won't come true!"
Joshua: "No, you aren't doing it right!" He dropped his voice to a whisper...
"You have to be sure to talk quietly so no one can hear you, like this, see?"
Sissy: "Joshua. I can still hear you."

Joshua wrinkles his nose and looks up at the stars then closes his eyes and wishes for something. Then his eyes pop open and he leans towards his sister.
Joshua, excitedly: "Guess what, Sissy! I just wished you had super powers!"
Sissy sighs wryly, "Great, thanks, now I WON'T get super powers."
Joshua laughs and goes back to wishing. Then his eyes pop open again excitedly.
Joshua: "Mama! Guess what I wished for you! Guess!" He bounces in the backseat.
Sissy smacks him lightly on the leg, "If you tell, it won't come TRUE!" she admonishes. "I'm not gonna TELL," he responds with glee, "I am gonna make her GUESS."
Daddy and I try not to laugh in the front seat.
I turn my head towards him and say, "I don't want to guess and ruin your wish, honey."
He sighs. He fidgets. He gazes out the car window at the stars. He fidgets some more. Then he says, "Well, okay, but when you wake up in the morning, if you know funny...or different somehow...will you tell me?"

Great. I'm gonna get super powers....